LOOK DAD NO JOKES

"Most people in the build up to North Korea’s obliteration of the West were..."

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 21:39:24 -0400

““Most people in the build up to North Korea’s obliteration of the West were “tweeting”, a popular form of communication in the day, about how funny the North Korean’s leader’s name was and what a funny face he had. There also seems to be a lot of screen shots taken from a popular cinefilm of the time which depicts the dictators father in puppet form, puppets being sort of wooden representations of humans 1.0 with strings.””

- Mutant Historian Jeremy Dndogndomsvdpddga. from his book “Before 5 armed, radioactive humans walked the earth: Life before World War 3” Published 2043

meagre-ring: The Idiocy of Idears was never published, but...

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 10:00:18 -0500

meagre-ring:

The Idiocy of Idears was never published, but printed en masse and left lying in bookshops for lucky Billy Childish fans to find and take home for free.

NRA President: "The only way to stop a bad guy on a killing spree is with a good guy on a killing spree."

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 17:08:30 -0500

NRA President: "The only way to stop a bad guy on a killing spree is with a good guy on a killing spree."

I have done a Christmas playlist for songs which are about the...

Sun, 23 Dec 2012 12:06:00 -0500

I have done a Christmas playlist for songs which are about the festive period, but for one reason or the other, you’re not going to get on the ‘Now Christmas’ compilations. Don’t get me wrong, I love the normal mainstream songs played at Christmas, it’s the only time of year I will allow my hipster mouth to sing along to the likes of Maraiah Carey and Shankin’ Stevens. This playist is to keep up my alternative creditials. It features really good, convential Christmas songs which really should be ingrained in the the christmas consiousness by Glam Chops and The Hornblower Brothers. A whole album by Billy Childish, singing about Christmas in his own unique way. A political interlude courtsey of The Attery Squash and Billy Bragg, a convicted peodophile (no not Gary Glitter, that would be far too mainstream but Jonathan King!) Christmassy Peel Sessions from The Fall, hilarious Jewish satire from Atom and His Package, Classics from Half Man Half Biscuit and Spinal Tap as well as Joni Mitchell and the best Christmas song of the last twenty years, White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin. Also Fairytale of New York, because you can’t have Christmas without that, it’s also the only song in history to be loved by the mainstream and alternative, in fact, I would have no problem arguing it to be the greatest pop song ever written. So enjoy, and Merry Christmas, there is a list of songs which are on my iTunes but not on Spotifiy, I’ll list them below, and you can go hunting for them if you wish: Skin Up For Jesus - Sexton Ming Sometimes You Have To Work on Christmas (Sometimes) - Harvey Danger I Wish That… - Josie Long (yes that one) Slayer Bells (Just For Christmas) - Andrew Liles (this one is really, really fucking strange) and finally Christmas is For Losers - Mike Nikoli Merry Christmas one and all!

Audio

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 13:45:12 -0500

My contribution to #hipsterttoi #thethickofit #ttoi...

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 11:48:17 -0500

My contribution to #hipsterttoi #thethickofit #ttoi #submission

http://hipsterttoi.tumblr.com/image/36153633787

Photo

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 20:36:31 -0400

imperfectwriting: I went to the mall, and a little girl called...

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 09:01:43 -0400

imperfectwriting:

I went to the mall, and a little girl called me a terrorist.

My name is Ela. I am seventeen years old. I am not Muslim, but my friend told me about her friend being discriminated against for wearing a hijab. So I decided to see the discrimination firsthand to get a better understanding of what Muslim women go through.

My friend and I pinned scarves around our heads, and then we went to the mall. Normally, vendors try to get us to buy things and ask us to sample a snack. Clerks usually ask us if we need help, tell us about sales, and smile at us. Not today. People, including vendors, clerks, and other shoppers, wouldn’t look at us. They didn’t talk to us. They acted like we didn’t exist. They didn’t want to be caught staring at us, so they didn’t look at all.

And then, in one store, a girl (who looked about four years old) asked her mom if my friend and I were terrorists. She wasn’t trying to be mean or anything. I don’t even think she could have grasped the idea of prejudice. However, her mother’s response is one I can never forgive or forget. The mother hushed her child, glared at me, and then took her daughter by the hand and led her out of the store.

All that because I put a scarf on my head. Just like that, a mother taught her little girl that being Muslim was evil. It didn’t matter that I was a nice person. All that mattered was that I looked different. That little girl may grow up and teach her children the same thing.

This experiment gave me a huge wakeup call. It lasted for only a few hours, so I can’t even begin to imagine how much prejudice Muslim girls go through every day. It reminded me of something that many people know but rarely remember: the women in hijabs are people, just like all those women out there who aren’t Muslim.

People of Tumblr, please help me spread this message. Treat Muslims, Jews, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, Taoists, etc., exactly the way you want to be treated, regardless of what they’re wearing or not wearing, no exceptions. Reblog this. Tell your friends. I don’t know that the world will ever totally wipe out prejudice, but we can try, one blog at a time.

My second Guardian Blogging Students piece.

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 09:31:24 -0400

My second Guardian Blogging Students piece.

I remember listening to this song from Art Brut’s well...

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 19:01:49 -0400

I remember listening to this song from Art Brut’s well produced and underrated second album when I first came to University, anticipating the lifestyle of living away from home, listened to it again recently and it makes so much more sense after (almost) three years of Uni! Some of Eddie Argos’s finest lyrics!

pseudonymous.: wank turner

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 18:07:12 -0400

pseudonymous.: wank turner:

hjpseudonymous:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2012/sep/04/frank-turner-right-wing?fb=native&CMP=FBCNETTXT9038

‎’I get a lot of shit for saying I’m right-wing’. Wow, Francis, poor little you. Because last time I checked, it was right-wingers who get arrested, kettled, verbally abused and beaten…

Review - Thalidomidas Touch by The Thlyds

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 16:45:01 -0400

If you like your music to be punk, puerile and nihilist, (and originating, most likely, from the Indelicates, Keith TOTP camp of the indie scene) then you will love the Thlyds debut album ‘Thalidomidas Touch.’
They are an animated group, the bastard and estranged offspring of Gorrilaz, singing songs that if heard by the readership of The Daily Mail would send each of them into spasms of revulsion until they were foaming at the mouth. It’s an album full of short bursts of adolescent anger and frustration. The lead singer’s voice echoing Johnny Rotten’s early days. With songs such as ‘If I Wanted A Job (I Would Have Been Born a Cunt)’, the immensely catchy ‘I Fucked The Queen’ and ‘Let’s Have A Riot at The Olympics;’ this band is almost certainly looking to raise a few eyebrows and poke controversy. Although, I suspect the creators of this band have their tounge firmly in their cheeks, considering they state on the YouTube video that they don’t actually want a riot at the Olympics and use lines such as ‘I tried to give up fucking royals for lent, but then I blew it by fucking Princess Michael Of Kent.’ They trivialise issues such as child abandonment by presenting it through the eyes and friendship hierarchy of their pubescent, careless cartoon creations, berate the listener for ‘being the sort of cunt who buys albums,’ and spurt wonderfully puerile tirades of filth (the album ‘ballad’ being entitled ‘I Fingered You.’)

It’s the brashest, most expletive ridden pile of songs I have heard all year – and I love it, the perfect antidote to the flag waving, bunting hanging bullshit of this summer.

Get the album from here:

http://corporaterecords.co.uk/artists/The+Thlyds/Thalidomidas+Touch/

Edinburgh 2012 1st-14th August

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 12:47:31 -0400

I have split this MAMMOTH blog into sections to make it more digestible. To be honest it’s more for my own consumption and memories, but there are reviews of shows (I was luck enough to pick out real gems, so most reviews are overwhelmingly positivie) as well as self assesment. Feel free to have a look, but I wont be offended if you don’t, it will after all probably take you until next fringe to finish reading it all!

MY PERFORMANCES

As well as my seven gigs with my show ‘Dodger’s Comedy Presents…’ I also did one gig with the Improv Troupe ‘Battle Acts’. It was a rowdy late night gig, and I came into it having just done the worst ‘Dodger’s…’ of the run (my mind persuaded me mid gig that doing an unfunny paedophile joke, about how wanting to have sex with a 14 year girl was like voting for the Lib Dems, was a good idea) I had lost the respect and control of the gig after that. But I came out onto the Battle Acts stage and dealt with members of the crowd shouting ‘Seth’ at me by informing them that, yes, I looked like Seth Rogen, also that bloke from the Hangover and, in certain lights, a paedophile. Which got a laugh, leaving the audience reactions to paedo jokes at 1-1. (I don’t know why I’m taking this as some sort of victory, I don’t particularly like paedophile jokes) But I did my ‘Bomb Scare’ material and, despite their rowdiness and drunkenness, it went down well, and buoyed my confidence. I also did a gig for a Dan Mckee/ Paco Erhard, in their 10:30pm slot. Moments before the gig I had been weeping into a pint of Guinness in the Pleasance Dome. The audience seemed to be heckling me with words of encouragement such as ‘take your time’, ‘carry on’ etc., which was nice. I thanked them and told them how, before the show, I had been crying into my girlfriend’s bosom. Then some bright spark picked up on the fact that, given that my whole set was about me not having a girlfriend, I had broken the comic illusion I had so carefully weaved. I fell to my knees, called Cameron a cunt and left the stage for Sarah to come on and pick up the pieces.

My final gig of Edinburgh was for the Cambridge Footlights, organised by Ali Lewis, who I had met in my Chortle Semi Final two years ago. Despite being in a massive room far from the centre of Edinburgh on the Free Fringe at 1:45 in the afternoon, the room was packed. It was testament to their years of legacy I suppose. It was a lovely gig, really great performances from Ken Cheng, Emerald Paston and Ian Sampson, along with headliner Nish Kumar and Ali, the compere. It was a nice, receptive crowd, even if we didn’t have a microphone. I went out on a high, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Which was good.

Then there was Lach’s Antihoot. I hadn’t quite realised how drunk I was until I got on stage, and decided, on the spot, to do the most random selection of material, messing it up by acting obviously drunk. Although the audience were nice and antifolk-y, so it didn’t matter too much. I also spilt someone’s drink doing the ‘Comedy Lawnmower’ and explained to people the concept of Mr. Niche. I then did the Lach joke (“I was broken into the other day and my life-size model of the creator of antifolk was destroyed, the police came in and said the latch was broken and I said “yes, but how did they get in?””) I feel that it has peaked now that Lach has heard it (he even did a reinterpretation of it himself with my name). Apparently, after I came of stage, my performance was gently ridiculed by the 2004 winner of So You Think Your Funny, who Dave later scarily identified off the top of his head as “Nick Sun”, but I spoke to him after and it was fine. I apologised to Lach, who in his own lovely, calm, cool way said “don’t worry man, it’s what the Antihoot is all about”. Over the course of the week, I slowly fell in love with him.

As for the rest of the prematurely-cut-short run of ‘Dodger’s…’, it made me realise that I’m not as good a comic as I perhaps thought I was, but it’s made me more determined than ever to change that. I received mixed reviews, but I was still trudging out my David Willett’s material, something I said I would finish doing over a year ago. So maybe my heart wasn’t in the material. Some nights went well, others didn’t. But that’s comedy. There was an interesting point raised by some Australians that came to see our show when speaking to Tom and Dave, they said that my wanking over Laura Kunessburg/Poonsburg material seemed a bit misogynistic because of discussing a woman in purely sexual terms, which was a fair point. I thought it was some of my strongest material, but, looking at it now, it has taken on a whole new light from when I originally performed it, when I had my whole ‘being a virgin’ schtick to rely on. That made me seem vulnerable, desperate and lonely, so people could laugh at that. It made me realise how important context is in comedy; every word you say must be understood in the context of the persona you have on stage.

I would say that the one thing that has improved is my audience banter. I made a point of trying to do it at every gig, and I am more confident and at ease with talking to the audience; hey, I even got big laughs from my improvised quips. One of the more memorable audience banter-offs came from an argument with a 12 year old child. He had been causing problems for Dave and Tom all night; they had dealt with him well, but had not shut him up. Up stepped me. He shouted out during the rant/breakdown part of my set, saying that the mic stand was broken. I said it wasn’t . He said ‘no food for you’ in reference to the donation bucket. I said ‘no pubes for you’. He said something else ‘you’re a…’ which got a laugh, but I didn’t hear what he said, so I asked him to repeat it, but he just said ‘ask your mother’, which again got a laugh. He was beating me; I had to crush him. So I did what any responsible, witty jokesmith would do, and called him a cunt. Rapturous applause, which I could then play off. That night we made the most money of the whole run. (£8 each!) People liked us dealing with a child, a heckler, a cunt.

Also Dave, Sarah and I all did a slot at Joz Norris’s fantastic show Matt Fisher: Uberperson (see below).

STAND UP (PAID SHOWS)

Well, fuck me, we saw some of the best comedians in the world. They were inspiring and humbling. The first stand up we saw was Tony Law, as soon as we got off the train. It was a preview show, and it was classic Tony Law. His surreal whimsy and infectious stage presence becoming a staple of the Fringe, the ending to the show being a particular highlight, as Law tied tiny elephants around The Stand whilst images of elephants played over a six minute song with the words ‘Tony… doesn’t know how to end, doesn’t know how to end his show.’ Brilliant. Then we went to see David Trent (someone who Al gigged with at a Salt Box preview in Norwich) His show ‘Spontaneous Comedian’ took the use of Powerpoint in comedy to a whole new level. Brilliant, inventive stuff. There’s a lot of buzz around him; he could get a Foster’s Comedy Award nomination, in fact he fully deserves it. It’s a great show and, after to talking to him with Al, he’s a really nice bloke to.

The next paid shows came on the two-for-one day. We saw Nick Helm-This Means War! An absolutely incredible performance, a stand up show 2.0 with everything: explosions, smoke machines and guitar riffs to name but a few. Its imagery and direction is fantastic and, unbelievably, all this pomp and circumstance doesn’t detract from the comedy; it suits Helm’s material perfectly, although only he could ever pull off such theatrics. As the show progresses, however, his militaristic, ultra-manly, alpha male character’s masculinity is stripped away (both metaphorically and literally – he gets down to his pants) to reveal a sweet, vulnerable, exhausted individual who just wants to be loved. This is Helm’s stand up persona spelled out, and spilled out, to the audience. It was one of the most exciting, vibrant and funny shows we saw. We all agreed it was one of, if not the, highlight of the Fringe. We were also lucky enough to meet Helm in the outside the Pleasance Courtyard. He was lovely, so friendly and genuinely appreciative of us coming up to speak to him; he asked us all our names, shook our hands and said it was nice to meet us. He’s so nice.

We also saw Claudia O’Doherty, recommended by countless comic this year and last. An incredibly inventive show, the back story on which the piece hinges is that Claudia O’Doherty was snatched as a child and forced to do become a stand-up comedian by an evil corporation, The Nut House. After a few subtle digs at the perception of women in comedy, she informs us of a loophole in her alleged contract and decides to perform a play instead, but technical hitches conspire against her and it leads to her battling to entertain the audience while the technical chaos continues around her. I loved it; very original and very, very funny.

The next day we saw Josie Long, probably my favourite stand up (she may even have nudged ahead of Stewart Lee). I’ve seen versions of her latest show Romance and Adventure twice already, once in Leicester when she was supported by Grace Petrie and once at The Apple Cart festival in London. It was good to see the whole show finally put together. She was her usual lovable self. Al, Sarah, Ed and I, having declared our love of her previously and broadly supporting her idealistic vision of politics, went away happy and laughing. Public schoolboy Tom who has ‘fiscally Conservative’ (i.e cuntish) views moaned about what she was saying. Queue a re-run of the debate last year after her show, in fact the debate we have most days.

In the evening we were lucky enough to get to see Daniel Kitson! It almost didn’t happen; I was the last person to get in on the ‘standing room only’ tickets. I had to decide whether to go in on my own and leave my friends (Al, Ed and Sarah) or turn down the chance to see the elusive and what is widely believed to be the greatest stand up of all time. You know that film Sophie’s Choice? It was exactly like that. Nonetheless, I left Sarah, Al and Ed in the hands of the Nazis, sorry, out on the street in Edinburgh, and walked in and got a seat and had a pint. Because I am a heartless bastard. In all fairness, I felt bad about it straight away, but I needn’t have, because they all got let in in the end. Which meant we all saw the show, and it was awe-inspiring. Kitson tackled everything from Love, to comedy, to his own critics and fans. It was structured in three parts and went on for an hour and forty five minutes. At times it felt like Kitson was reading from a novel, it was that well written and engrossing, and he would counter any wordy, thought provoking passages with some great, simple stand-up jokes and tropes. It was simply stunning and a case in point of a show every comedian would want to write, but probably never will. A beautifully-crafted show with heart, soul, intelligence and wank jokes. The hype I’ve heard about him all my life was entirely justified. Catch him if you can, even if you have to stand on the cold Edinburgh pavement beforehand.

Bridget Christie was the show we saw next. This is the third time I’ve seen her and this year’s offering War Donkey was the best yet I think. It was brave, bold, intelligent and funny. She talked about difficult subjects, domestic violence and genital operations. But despite these dark subjects, a very funny joke or original take on the subject was just around the corner. There were also some great visual set ups, like Christie in a blow up sumo suit pretending to be Edwin Star singing to his hit ‘War’ or pretending to be the show’s title, a War Donkey. A great hour of stand-up (plus there were added layers to some of her jokes if you know who she is married to).

We also went to see David O’Doherty. Despite doing virtually the same sort of thing every year, his loveable songs never fail to reel me in, and he was on fine form again.

James Acaster was a stand-up who I’d previously seen supporting Josie Long, and once at Lounge on the Farm when incredibly drunk (that night culminated in Ed trying to hug Acaster, mostly just haphazardly scratching him, before falling asleep on stage). This time was a bit more sedate. It takes a while for it to get going (Acaster’s deadpan delivery on fairly mundane topics seems predictable) but, as the show builds, he weaves a expertly constructed show, demonstrating masterfully how the callback device can be used at every twist and turn. His jokes are brilliantly written and the wait for the payoff is always worth it. A thoroughly enjoyable show.

Simon Munnery’s Fylm Makker was the usual offering of inventive, original, witty and unique stand up. He conducted the show from the centre of the room, sitting down with two cameras facing him and his table, which were hooked up to two big projector screens. He was able to construct little animated segments out of cardboard live on the spot. Munnery’s comedic mind continues to outdo most other comics, and this highly original show is testament to that.

The final comedian we saw was Eddie Pepitone, a fiery American who came recommended by both Brendon Burns and Stuart Goldsmith. His routines were injected with the just right amounts of anger, thought and social satire, often taking on a sketch-like quality. Personal highlights included a lounge singer who gets war flashbacks, a casting agency for a washing powder advert and an extended piece in which Pepitone sits in the audience and heckles himself. It was a great end to a great two weeks and, as Al described it, ‘good, raw comedy.’

SKETCH

WitTank was a good solid hour of sketches. Like most sketch shows, there were hits and misses. I’m not by any means a connoisseur of sketch comedy, but I wasn’t blown away by them, the sketches perhaps lacking an inventiveness I’ve seen elsewhere. However, each performer is hugely likeable and the sketches never failed to raise a smile, the recurring Yeti sketch being a particular favourite.

Al was insistent that we went to see Pappy’s in what was billed as their ‘Last Show Ever.’ The idea was that the three members of Pappy’s were old men looking back on their last show and tried to remember why it was just that. It was wonderful, the best sketch comedy show I’d ever seen (I’ve not seen that much, but I didn’t realise it could be this good); a beautifully written show with a surprisingly poignant ending, but one that still left you with a spring in your step as you walked out.

STAND UP (FREE SHOWS)

I was lucky enough to pick out some great shows on the Free Fringe. Angela Barnes and Matt Richardson were first up. These two are going to be huge, they are winning awards and bigger gigs all over the shop. And it’s deserved: Barne’s material has a very mainstream appeal, destined for Live at the Apollo. The material is structured and safe (all the subjects she covers have been tackled before and it’s three jokes on subject then move on), but she does it well and I can see why she won the BBC New Act of the Year.

Matt Richardson was up next and he was brilliant, really hilarious, with superb audience interaction and intelligent yet broad material to match his very versatile, very likeable stage presence. He’s also 21, so I will add “annoying” to that list of kind adjectives as well. Dave had gigged with him previously and so we managed to nab a guest spot off him too and, speaking to him, he seems like a very nice guy.

Me and Dave also went to see Lewis Schafer, an American comic. He started his show by greeting every audience member as they filed in, a nice touch. He picked on me, said I looked Jewish, and even tried to get me laid. Some of his jokes were rather near the knuckle, but enjoyable nonetheless. Apparently, it’s his trademark to deal with race and discrimination issues but, by and large, I found the show enjoyable.

Tim Shosidia and former UEAer Pat Cahill’s Tim and Pat show, was a beautiful blend of stand up and irreverent, quirky sketches, forming a thoroughly enjoyable hour altogether. Pat Cahill’s material strikes you as very well written; tightly rehearsed rhymes and stories set him apart from your run of the mill comics, and, with critical praise, awards and BBC appearances, he will be big. Tim Shosidia’s delightful one-liners and sparky routines are reminiscent of Harry Hill, with his delivery having shades of an English Tony Law – not a bad combination, and he has an elder statesman quality to him which makes him very easy to warm to. Dave thought their double act was like early Mighty Boosh, which certainly made for a great show and interesting take on the double header format.

Undoubtedly the highlight of the Free Fringe was our good friend Joz Norris in his show ‘Matt Fisher:Uberperson’ Joz is one of my favourite comics around, such an inventive and bright stand up. His show features two of my favourite routines of his, the Wallace and Gromit sketch and the Legs up the Arse sketch (it sounds crass, but it’s not. I can’t really explain it; you just have to take my word that it is a blindingly original piece of stand-up). His show was a character piece. His alter ego, Matt Fisher is supposed to be a terrible stand-up comedian, he is incredibly insecure yet has delusions of grandeur. Terrible with women and harbouring a troubled past, Matt Fisher is one of the most exciting comic characters I have seen on the circuit. Joz plays him with expert subtlety and the jokes come thick and fast, with set pieces so different and inventive from your run of the mill free show. It was excellent, I was recommending it to anybody and everybody on the Fringe. It sometimes suffered from its time slot (midnight) and venue (The Pheonix Bar, way out of the way) as its audience normally featured a few drunkards who didn’t ‘get’ the show. But, despite all this, it was one of the finest performances I saw all Fringe and, if he develops Matt and the show over time, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that it could break Edinburgh in a few years. Joz is going to be a hero of alternative comedy and I intend to cling tightly to his coattails as he heads upwards into the comic stratosphere.

I also went to see Stuart Hossack and Will Ainsworth in their show Introducing Stu Introducing Will, on at midday at Espionage. I first met Stu at my Chortle Semi Final last year and him and Will came and did my Comedy Bunker and me and Dave did his night in Southampton. Their show was highly enjoyable, they both have great energy and ideas which most stand ups might have, but think too daft to try and stick them in a draw. Wrongly. These two execute these simple, silly ideas brilliantly (highlights include Stu’s attempt to be a motivational speaker and Will singing a welsh mining song whilst dressed as a chef, not to mention his inspired lip balm routine) At one point, they even turn the show into a birthday party. Also, their friend Angela, who helps them put on shows, stood unnoticed at the door, dressed as a baby, which was an amusing touch. They are very exciting new comics.

Ben Hustwayte and Jack Campbell were other comics we know who we saw.Both have great, confident stage presence and sharp lines. Perhaps due to a lack of material to fill their respective half-hours, perhaps due to the nature of the event as a whole, the show included a great deal of audience banter, which they are excellent at. Give it a few years and they will be really, really good.

On our final full day we went to see Richard Gadd and Matt Winning, as I heartily enjoyed their show last year (then featuring So You Think You’re Funny winner James Kirk). I also kind of know both them through social media and competitions etc. and, for this reason, I was awkwardly made to sit in the middle of the front row by Al, and, considering their venue had no stage, my feet were virtually touching the mic stand which naturally meant I was picked on by the compare Richard Hanrahan, and the absent Richard Gadd’s stand in, “Dogshit Johnson” a deep-south musician character. Matt Winning’s set was excellent, his Mugabe diary entries in particular were great (especially the Botswana line, which had Tom in fits of laughter, so much so it disrupted the show a little).

We also went to see Sam Schaffer and Josie Long’s Awkward Romance, on the Free Fringe. I have gigged with Sam Schaffer once, and we got on well, both liking each other’s material and my love and admiration for Josie Long has already been well documented. The back story for this show, according to Sam, is that Josie Long basically forced a reluctant him to do an Edinburgh show with her. Because she’s nice, or horrible depending on how you look at it. I say nice, and I’m incredibly jealous. The show was rather shambolic, but in a completely endearing way. Josie tried out some new stuff and then Sam did half an hour, then they read out some of the misguided romantic gestures which Josie had urged the audience to write and hand in to her. Sam Schafer was clearly nervous, but he does show a great deal of promise and is an easily likeable figure with a special and sweet comic mind, one for the future of the Fringe. The little homemade badges made by and for the audience were a lovely touch – and actually stayed on better than any of the ‘professional’ badges we got given. So there, safety pins and cereal boxes rule.

Beast of the East was the final show we saw all Fringe and we had bring all our luggage all the way to the venue to see it. It was the ‘official’ Headlights Comedy Society show featuring Robert ‘Will’ Turner, Charlie Tarran, Luis Forte, Eleanor Overvoorde, Scott Mills and Neal Goldsmith . The hour was formed of a mix of stand up, sketch and music. I only caught half of it, but I still found the show to be inventive and well-put-together, with an engagingly chaotic undercurrent to it. The running sketch of the PM obsessed with films was probably my personal highlight, but the cast should be proud of the smartness and uniqueness of the show as a whole, each stand up growing in bags of confidence since I saw them all last.

Also of noteworthiness, at Lach’s Antihoot, Ed and I discovered a comic called Danny Dynmo, a very Ted Chippington-esque performer of dead pan one liners, in what could legitimally be described as an anti-comedy routine. I really liked him.

THEATRE

I saw more theatre this year which was good. The show I was most looking forward to was, by a mile, Coalition, a comedy play about, well, a Coalition, boasting an all-star cast of Thom Tuck, Phill Jupitus, Jo Caulfield and Simon Evans. It was a good play, with enough gags to counter act the mild political jargon. Thom Tuck did a very good job as the selfish, shallow, unlikeable leader of the Lib Dems, playing his part just comically enough to evoke at least a shred of sympathy (a more impassioned, flamboyant version of Nick Clegg might be the best way to describe him). The show-stealing performance came from Phil Jupitus as the Tory Chief Whip. There were a couple of great political one liners, but, if I offer one criticism, it is that I expected more of the nitty gritty of coalition government, and more emphasis on the power balance between the major and minor parties. But hey, that would probably be a whole different play I guess.

In the most effective piece of flyering we experienced on the Fringe, we were told by an very friendly and enthusiastic young man to go and see Comedian Dies In The Middle of a Joke. True to his word, it was a very absorbing interactive piece of theatre. The premise was that a comedian gets shot at the middle of his routine at a comedy club in the 80s, and several reconstructions take place, with each member of the audience playing several different roles throughout. I was the first stand up, and his “deliberately terrible” set was, funnily (and worryingly) enough, a bit like some material I, now thankfully, have dropped. LOL. Although hugely enjoyable, I would argue that the show came to a bit of an anti-climax, the final revelatory reconstruction being very similar to (but longer than) the ones before. They could have done with an extra half an hour to wrap up all the evidence and contributions made from the audience. All in all, however, a really fun Fringe experience.

Executive Stress/Corporate Retreat was an early start for us (12.00) Dave and I went along to a show put on by the Australians (the ones who said they found my Laura Kunessberg routine misogynistic. That’s not a dig, they raised a valid point; I was just awkward around them after I found that out, because I was thinking throughout the show that the whole cast was looking at me like I was hugely sexist). The setup is another piece of interactive theatre, this time a parody of the dick-filled world of business, or, more specifically, a confidence building retreat. It was again good fun with the audience being ranked on their ability to do lots of tasks (I think I did better than some, but I came last. On reflection, that’s probably because they still thought I was sexist). It’s a good show, veering dangerously close to being uncomfortable at times as the jargon and personas are scarily just on the right side of believable, with the ending being genuinely funny. They are also nice guys (and girls. I really do love all genders, I promise) so do go see them if you can.

On the final day, Ed and I went to see This Land, a really great play about the life of the American Folk Singer, Woody Guthrie. It was a fantastic piece of theatre: funny, emotional, energetic and informative. The show told us the story of Guthrie from his house fire when he was a child right through to the elderly, sick man on his death bed, visited by Bob Dylan. It was fast paced, and packed a lot of information into a tightly-scripted hour. The songs of Guthrie were used effectively, not getting overly annoying or crowbarred in. The acting was superb, and they did well to show both the positive and negative points of this fascinating and influential man’s personality. A triumph.

MUSIC

And by music I mean Antifolk. Lach, hosting his Edinburgh-staple night Lach’s Antihoot, was his usual, witty, open, friendly, legendary self. Playing songs spanning his career, peppered with great anecdotes (I particularly liked the one prompted by my Billy Bragg T-Shirt, when he talked of getting thrown out of his gig because he threw a cigarette packet at the Braggster mid-Communist rant, shouting “you’re in America now, pal.”) The highlights of the two Antihoots I made were Depresstival, (Quirky, English-Russian-Red-Esq Antifolk whimsy) and Dog on a Swing (downbeat Scottish folk.) Discovering little folk gems like these are becoming a staple of my Edinburgh Fringe. Long may it continue.

We also saw other mildly-famous-in-the-British-Antifolk-scene Sargent Buzfuzz’s show Go To The Devil and Shake Yourself, billed as ‘The entire history of the 1400 Papacy told through folk songs.’ And that was exactly what he did. You can’t help but be impressed. Go buy the album of the same name to get a musical history lesson.

Also, not forgetting my good friend and hostel buddy, Edward Goodson, aka The Ranters. He is genuinely one of the most exciting young artists out there, and his music is exactly what I like. Honest, lo-fi, political and funny, sometimes all at the same time. There was talk of an re-union of The Atomic Penguins at the Antihoot, but, to be honest, over the past couple of years, I have felt really bad about surpassing Ed as singer/songwriter with my massive ego. But no, seriously, go check his stuff out. Download if for free; if you don’t like it, you have lost literally nothing.

OUR SHOW

So our show was going fantastically. The Staff Room was one of the smallest rooms I’d ever come across (I actually probably could come across it, it was that small), but that made it all the more intimate and easy to fill, if unreasonably hot. But we did it, packing it out several times over, leading us to be offered a new and bigger venue, halfway through the run. Naturally, we accepted, and, luckily, managed to fill that up too, still turning people away each night. True, both The Yurt Locker and The Staff Room had their faults (technical difficulties, background noise from the neighbouring club, etc.) but it was fine. Then Laughing Horse wanted to move our time slot in The Yurt Locker (the second, larger venue), meaning all our flyers would be rendered useless, because none of the information on them would be correct. We said we would prefer to go back to The Staff Room, as at least our flyers would stand a chance of bringing in an audience, but we were told a day later that our agreed time slot had been filled (not to mention that our timeslot had been changed on the website without our consent, or our knowledge). So we were essentially left with useless flyers or nothing. After a lengthy debate, we chose nothing. Dave and Tom were adamant on this point. Al, Sarah and I were willing to change, because, at the end of the day, we wanted to perform, butI’m happy we stuck to the principles, because the way Laughing Horse treated us was appalling and they shouldn’t trick vulnerable new acts like that (especially since everything had been great up until then). But, on the other hand, I am a performer and it was heart-breaking to walk away from months and months of work in a flash, abandoning our last three shows altogether. I just hope if we ever choose to work with LH in the future, this decision won’t come around to kick us in the teeth and that both parties can remain professional. Whether it was the right decision or not, I don’t know. We were in the right, so I guess so, and I did manage to get my full quota of gigs from other sources. It’s just such a shame that we went away from our first fringe experience with a sour taste in our mouths.

Other than that, we had a successful run, a great venue and time slot and having five of us flyering meant that we never played to empty seats. Dave probably had the most successful run, smashing it every night with his starting-to-get-annoyingly-good, broad, material. He got a paid gig in London and (possibly) a 6 month all-expenses-paid run in Singapore, offered to him by a man we all thought was a reviewer, called Quill Potter. Al also got a paid gig in Devon.

I think it all helped us as comics immensely, and certainly everyone (bar possibly Tom, who’s determined to get a proper job as a lawyer – I know, mental, right?) saw that, despite everything, we want to return to Edinburgh year on year and try and ‘make it’, whatever that means. I loved the cycle of flyering then performing (although I was the only one to get a good night’s sleep most of the time, because I wasn’t distracted by my own snoring) and I firmly believe I could have done a whole run, had I had the money. Rest assured, like a moth to an International Arts Festival, I will be back next year to test that theory out.

SHOWS I DIDN’T CATCH (BUT WANTED TO)

The Trap, Sam Simmons, Doctor Brown, Nick Doody, Nick Sun, Activisim is Fun!

My Chortle Correspondents piece about Edinburgh

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 21:34:37 -0400

My Chortle Correspondents piece about Edinburgh

My first attempt at a Meme and it's D:MEME, if you catch my drift.

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 08:31:34 -0400

My first attempt at a Meme and it's D:MEME, if you catch my drift.

Minge! Thrapston's Premier Night Club

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 12:59:18 -0400

Minge! Thrapston's Premier Night Club

This is Part 2 scroll down for Part 1, watch that one first, it...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 12:29:00 -0400

This is Part 2 scroll down for Part 1, watch that one first, it being Part 1 and all

Know Your Britions - Episode 1 - Geoffrey - Part 1Is a thing I...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 12:29:00 -0400

Know Your Britions - Episode 1 - Geoffrey - Part 1
Is a thing I gone done. Might do more in the future.

David Cameron Plans To Cut Housing Benefit For The Under 25s - My Thoughts

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 22:44:00 -0400

Update: an edited and redrafted version of this article appeared on The Guardian website as part of the ‘Blogging Students’ series on 29/06/2012. It stimulated a lot of debate but seemed to be generally well received. It was the second most read article in the Guardian Education section that day, and at one point was trending worldwide on Twitter. Which was nice.

David Cameron’s latest plan, to be unveiled in a speech today, is to cut Housing Benefit for under 25s. Another unbelievable, ridiculous and rash policy from this increasingly out of touch government. Cutting housing benefit for the young, I cannot see the sense in. The young are the people who need housing benefit the most – we are the ones without any money, we are the ones who need a helping hand and a leg up to get us into a stable position before gaining a job.

Cameron says that more under 25s should go back home and live with their parents – essentially telling us to move backwards. Discouraging young people from making their own way in life. I’m currently about to head into my third year of university, in little over 12 months I will have graduated. Bleak prospects lay ahead on the other side. An ever increasing personal debt, the worst economic situation in living memory, youth unemployment rising by the day and a job market flooded with graduates – just like me. Times are not rosy for people my age, so when the state turns its back on us what hope is there?

Whatever happens after university, I know I want one thing if nothing else – not to move back in with my parents. Not that I don’t like my parents, of course I do, I love them, but as most people who flee the proverbial nest, get a whiff of independence, live in their own house - you don’t want to go back. Since leaving I’ve realised I love living in a city, at my parents’ house we live opposite some horses, when I wake up I want to see people hustling and bustling to get places, not a horse grazing on a piece of grass for twelve hours.

Unfortunately though, a number of graduates-and people who didn’t go to Uni – find it impossible to support themselves in these harsh times we live in. Many forced to treat the last three years studying as a mere holiday and now they are back stuck in some Conservative cul-de-sac where the average age of residents is double their age and the nearest town and signs of life are a minimum of half an hour away.

I’ve seen the benefits of housing benefits first hand, my girlfriend who graduated last year decided to buck the trend of almost all her fellow graduates and stay in her university town, and managed to – just. In the space of under a year she had seven different jobs. As soon as she got employed, she would become unemployed again – (temporary vacancies, redundancies and part time work being just some of the reasons.) My girlfriend is a proud person, from a hardworking, working class family, she hated receiving benefits when she was out of work, she didn’t like to take the state’s money – but she had to. If she hadn’t she would have been forced to be separated from her friends, would have left her housemate in a tricky position and been taken away from the man she loves (sorry to appear sentimental, but it’s true. Housing benefit saw her able to pay her rent in the brief periods she was left in the employment wilderness.)

I have aspirations to live and work in London. How can I find work in the city when I’m not even in it? I thought that David Cameron would like giving young people a helping hand at finding their feet, so they could then go on and get a job and put money into the economy. What cutting this benefit will do is send infinite numbers of teenagers and young people into a state of regression, unable to progress from the place where they started.

It seems to be a sad and growing truth that the terms ‘welfare’ and ‘benefits’ seem to be regarded as dirty words in this country. Benefits benefit people, welfare is ‘well fair’ to put it colloquially. Thanks to a few negative tabloid stories about benefit cheats (who are in the minority) Cameron and his Conservatives have a base from which to systematically and irreversibly destroy the Welfare State, which we have worked for years to create to the envy of most the world. In this year of things which encourage us to be patriotic, the things in Britain I am proud of, a state which helps people in need rather than letting them struggle, are being slowly but surely removed by a government driven by ideology and lacking in common sense or compassion.

Elbows On The Table

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 22:48:24 -0400

I’m as bad as a mile and as brave as a noun
but I’m yet to think of something profound
Am I a Struggling artist, or just a deluded bum?
By not getting a job am I subverting or sponging off the capitalist system

Does drinking wine by the bottle make me a romantic
or just borderline alcoholic
who am I? What do I stand for? Where is my place?

I grew up under the New Labour years
where there was nothing to get us angry
apart from a few thousand dead Iraqis

Now I’m living under a government
cutting services because of ideology
and a liberal democrat party
with no liberal polices
and not idea about democracy

I don’t understand the economy
because I never have any money
Have an education, a good time, and shit loads of debt
so you can have the life you want to get

Or the life we tell you you want to have
don’t do anything creative, that’ll keep you poor
be a greedy, ruthless cunt
always ask for more

Tax alcohol
Tax cigarettes
to pay for 231 nuclear warheads
here’s some advice
surely one will suffice?

I’d rather be Gordon Comstock
than a stockbroker
rather just get ugly
than have a makeover

We live in a land which restricts us from being our selves
and that tells us we’ll be happy if we keep on stocking shelves
When people take to the streets in the Middle East
they’re called revolutionaries
when people do it here, they’re called thugs
unless of course, you’re in the Bullingdon Club.

My work is not capitalist
it’s the antithesis
it will make no profit
but I still do it

You can’t privatise my words
nor the NHS
If you do
the poor will die in their beds

In the eighties
Crass and Billy Bragg looked to the government
and stretched out their middle fingers
but what ever happened to the humble protest singer?

My aim is normally to make people laugh
so I shall swing from the Cenotaph
of sweet moderation
heart of this nation

Because I think what the government is doing is wrong
but I can’t write a serious song
see with me, I prefer to write songs of the more comic variety

Because we probably wont see Socalist Ideology
coming from the mouths of Westminster MPs
They’re in the pockets of the City
The rich always hold the key
If you have the money then you have the power
do as they say or cower in fear
“We’ve got all the money here” they say
“and we could just as easily make it disappear.”

I have no respect for people in authority
landlords, The Police and The Army
can go fuck themselves, in theory
In practice though, the fact is this
I’ve never been a practical activist
Except when it came to dinner time etiquette.
Socialist, Anarchist, protester, I don’t deserve these labels
my only sustained protest
is putting my elbows on the table.